The story is told of a couple who were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. The husband was asked what the secret was to his successful marriage. The old gentleman answered with a story.
His wife, Sarah, was the only girl he had ever dated. He grew up in an orphanage and worked hard for everything he had. He never had time to date until Sarah swept him off his feet. Before he knew it she had managed to get him to ask her to marry him.
After they had said their vows on their wedding day, Sarah's father took the new groom aside and handed him a small gift. He said, “Within this package is all you really ever need to know to have a happy marriage.” The nervous young man fumbled with the paper and ribbon until he got the package unwrapped.
Within the box lay a large gold watch. With great care he picked it up. Upon close examination he saw engraved across the face of the watch a thoughtful reminder he would see whenever he checked the time of day . . . words that, if heeded, held the secret to a successful marriage. They were, “Say something nice to Sarah.”
Somerset Maughan's mother was an extraordinarily beautiful woman married to an extraordinarily ugly man. When a family friend once asked how such a beautiful woman could have married such an ugly man, she replied, “He has never once hurt my feelings.”
What would happen to marriages if we were constantly reminded and often were to say something nice to each other and not hurt each other’s feelings? What changes would occur in a husband’s and wife’s relationship? How would children be impacted? Would friends be influenced?
Think for a moment about the average conversation and the things that are said between husbands and wives. I would hazard to guess that the bulk of those conversations revolve around schedules, finances, kids, work and activities. Normally these conversations are not mean or nasty even though there are times when frustrations surface. However, usually the things that spouses say to each other are about details, decisions and direction.
But now think for a moment if amidst these conversations we looked at our watch and right there before us was a reminder to say something nice. Not something phony. Not something made up or untrue but rather something genuinely nice about the other person. Don’t you think it would make a difference? I think it would but more than just a difference in the other persons life, I think it makes a difference in our lives as well. Alexander Maclaren said it well, “Kindness makes a person attractive. If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.” Kindness and living loved makes us attractive. Isn't that just amazing? Most us of have trouble thinking of ourselves as attractive but think about what this means. The more I learn to live in my Father's love the more kind I will be and the more kind I am the more attractive I become.
I want to be more good looking!
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