In Praise Of Others

So often we very quickly can find the faults or errors in others and in the things they do. Almost daily I catch myself being guilty of this very thing. In fact it's likely more correct that there are many daily examples of fault finding. Sometimes it is with those I know. Sometimes it is with total strangers.... people that I don’t even know. However most of the time it with the ones that I love the most that I am most critical. When I or any one is guilty of this there is one thing that is always being forgotten: everyone needs recognition for their accomplishments. Few people make the need known quite as clearly as the little boy who said to his father: “Let's play darts. I'll throw and you say, ‘Wonderful!’”

You see what it boils down to is the issue of self esteem and feelings of worth for myself and others. When I’m critical and insistent on finding error in others and the things they do, it is an attempt to boost my feelings of worth.

However we need to remember that our sense of self worth will always receive a boost when I focus on building others up. What kind of difference would it make if we refused to focus on the faults of others? What impact would it have if we said no to pointing out errors in others and focused on encouraging them? Again this is not something I have even remotely come close to mastering but if I could do this more, one thing it would do: it would build healthy feelings of worth in everyone

Tim Kimmel in his book, “Little House on the Freeway” tells the story of seventy two year old pianist, Andor Foldes who recalls how praise made all the difference for him early in his career. His first recollection of an affirming word was at age seven when his father kissed him and thanked him for helping in the garden. Over six decades later he remembers it as though it were yesterday.

But the account of another kiss that changed his life says a great deal about our inner need for purpose. At age sixteen, living in Budapest, Foldes was already a skilled pianist. But he was at his personal all time low because of a conflict with his piano teacher. However in the midst of that very troubled year, one of the most renowned pianists of the day came to the city to perform. Emil von Sauer was not only famous because of his abilities at the piano, but he could also claim the notoriety of being the last surviving pupil of Franz Liszt.

Sauer requested that young Foldes play for him. Foldes obliged the master with some of the most difficult works of Bach, Beethoven, and Schumann. When he finished, Sauer walked over to him and kissed him on the forehead. “My son,” he said, “when I was your age I became a student of Liszt. He kissed me on the forehead after my first lesson, saying, ‘Take good care of this kiss -- it comes from Beethoven, who gave it me after hearing me play.’ I have waited for years to pass on this sacred heritage, but now I feel you deserve it.”

The Duke of Wellington was a brilliant, demanding military leader, and not one to shower his subordinates with compliments. In his old age a young lady asked him what he would do differently if he had his life to live over again. Wellington thought for a moment, then replied, “I'd give more praise.”

What would you do differently? For me the answer is clear. Praising others is just another way that living in Father’s love is demonstrated as being real in my life.